Why Chronic Fatigue Sucks

I’ve tried writing this post several times but the same “excuse” of being too tired to do it appeared over and over and over.

This is chronic fatigue.

Not only does my brain tell itself that it’s limited by the amount of energy I have that day, but my body is the proof.

{Took a break}

I’m a relatively introverted person- okay highly introverted person– but I think part of why I constantly am finding myself canceling plans or missing appointments or meetings or even just not texting back, is a result of my chronic fatigue.

It doesn’t just affect my brain in the sense that I’m being lazy or stubborn, it’s the fact that I can not will myself to mentally complete any task- and that’s frustrating.

{Took a break}

You can see the little warning signs of chronic fatigue all over me. From my unwashed hair that’s been given a once over with dry shampoo too many times to count; to my unshaven legs that I can’t even manage to bend down for that long to take care of (or not take care of- you do you). You can even see it in this post by the number of times I’ve honestly had to take a break because I was too tired to continue.

What I’m saying is this: It Sucks.

The whole idea of doing anything is exhausting. I can barely manage my anxious thoughts, let alone barely moving my body in between the constant napping that never leaves me feeling refreshed.

I’ve felt like no matter what I do, I’m just always going to be tired, and that messes with your head big time.

{Took a break}

So how do I manage it?

To be honest, it’s hard to manage. With only having this diagnosis under my belt for the last year or so, I wouldn’t consider myself a professional in the whole “fatigued” department. Yes, I am constantly tired, my body aches, I have headaches and never truly feel rested after even 12 hours of sleep- but I wouldn’t consider myself to be an expert in this field because I’m still learning how to manage my symptoms every day. 

It’s not something that I’ve felt like I can magically use to solve all the answers to my questions of why I am not getting better yet, but it does offer some insight to the biological aspect of what I’m going through. It’s one of those things that when my doctor started listing the symptoms, it’s as if this “Venn Diagram of Things Wrong with Me” finally had a commonality. 

{Took a break}

It’s frustrating to hear people’s disbelief when it comes to talking about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome openly, because people often ask if I’m “getting enough sleep” or if I’m just stressed out from everything else that’s going on. Yes- I do get stressed, but it’s more so of a catalyst for the CFS than a cause for it. Same goes for sleeping through the night. I already wake up 2-3 times, of course I wouldn’t feel well rested. But that shouldn’t make my chronic fatigue any less valid.

Chronic fatigue is not being lazy. It is not just being tired or not getting enough sleep. Chronic fatigue is a legitimate illness that affects so many people daily, and yet it is never talked about because we often label it as “laziness.” Around 1 million people have CFS but have not been diagnosed because society tells us we need to go, go , go to focus on work or school, and give ourselves these unreachable expectations. But that in itself is exhausting. Finding a healthy balance between your goals and what is healthy for you is so important. Just as important as talking to your doctor about symptoms that you are having, even if they don’t seem to be important. It could explain the bigger picture of something going on and give you the clarity you need to realize what you are dealing with and the appropriate treatment to help.